Focal Issue: Dissatisfaction.

I've been residing in Gainesville for about eight months now. What appalled me the most is the very unstable social life I have. Socializing is easily done in clubs for me but it is by far the worst place to find friends(Arghh.. Yes Idiot. *Points self*) that you talk to and hang out with on day-to-day basis. I do try making friends in school but it has not been progressing. I attempted a few times to get involved with school clubs but the meetings are held on the afternoons when I become unavailable because of work commitment. Also, I tried organizing some groups studies with my classmates but having being hit on or annoying me with constant complain about everything didn't work well on me. I do have two good friends at work but they are not where I am mentally. They are there for advises and some fun after work.

The ideal will be some female friends who would be down for study groups during the weekdays, chilling out at the hookah cafe once in a while, hit the clubs and picnics or dinners on the weekends. I do have amazing friends now through Monsieur and himself, but the friendship foundation I have with our circle of friends is interlinked by our relationship. Naturally, relationship is emotional-based. At this point, my emotion is on the climax level where our bonding is in a rapid notion with the spurring physical exploitation in the absence of love. Just the raging infatuation we have for each other. Once this fire is put out, I can imagine how the friendship I have with the friends I made through Monsieur would soon dim its glow, unless I acculture myself to a more liberal way of thinking that would presumably make my life easier, more comfortable and less of a heartache.

So what I am willing to do now is to live on my own and stop looking for friends. I will eventually, I am guessing in some unconscious manner, make good friends out of some people I meet from time to time. Trust me. It gets freakishly lonely when you have no family or girl friends who hang out with you, have slumber party, have margarita and talk all night about the world, art, music, religion, culture and history. For now, it is me, monsieur and his two disciples! If that's not going to last, I hope it'll be around for some good amount of time though! :P