My Very Hard Work

Design by Stephen Bushoven.

Santa Fe College Transportation Bill Phase 1 @ Tallahassee

This is long overdue. I'm just going to go ahead, and put this up before the follow up post of passing of the transportation bill that is going to be passed to the higher authorities, with additional 11 representatives from SF College on February 4th, 2010, at Tallahassee. The bill has been vetoed for 11 years straight. So hopefully, this year is going to be the final time we're asking for the bill to be passed, and that it will be passed and approved by the governor.


Kelsey and I dancing away at the backseat of the van


At the House Representatives room, with Kahlil and Austin on the background








We're in Governor Chris's Office!




Seeking support from Senator Gelber *Cross Fingers*




Lovely photo touch by Mr Holme's hands. I sent my father this photo. I didn't have any other photos of the grand supreme court on the background. Ahhh.

Unfortunate Unexpected January

The SAD sickness upon me.
This is the beginning of my cold journey alone. My classes, senate, and Friends sitcom will try to keep me busy.

Believing is Living

"One has the right to believe that God, soul, immortality, justice and freedom exists, not as metaphysical, but as practical necessities." - Immanuel Kant

My response: True. Believing is a will and makes a purpose to live. Only when you believe.

Thought: Philosophy motivates my insanity and the peace in my mind. It entwined me in its ridiculous hurricane. I'm taken away forever from my normal place on earth.

Mi Existencia

I lost my reasons for being here. Therefore, I doubt my existence. More convincing for the existing, because it takes a lot for me to be convinced, but it is so easy to doubt.

Not For the Weak Heart

Day to day, I learn more and more. In classes, in my room, in books, in history and in friends, I seek knowledge. The more I know, the more I fear knowledge, because its venomous sting could potentially be fatal to me if my heart, in the near future, is as weak as it is now.

Get Inspired

I know you're not a mind-reader. My words may be incomprehensible. I'm just a thinker with trains of thoughts who is not skilled enough to verbalize my logic and reasonings yet.

The Four Letters

Of extreme ends, it bears the command of death. Love. I can love you so much that I'd die for you, but my love for you hurts so much that I can die. I learned the hard way, perhaps just the longer path, in realizing that love should be unconditional. Since I doubt love, it does not worth as much as stability and peace. But stability and peace will eventually get dull but love is a river valley. Love may worth the ride and pain to encourage teamwork and build a rapport between two raft paddlers.

How do I fight this persistent human need of warm touch and constant attention? Has it become a need for me like how a newborn child? Will I die of lack of human contact like an orphan infant? How do I answer these questions to myself?

I am in the quest of being independent. Can I be completely independent when I am always in dire need of financial assistance and human compassion? I asked for independence, and yet, I am getting loneliness as a deadly consequence for my social-butterfly self.

I am a contradiction. I tease everyone for the closeness they have with their lovers. Could it be just envy a production of my solitary state of mind? I am not as lonely as I may think I am. I have companions. But I choose. I filter. I suffer these decisions I made. Or I am not?

These thoughts shall ponder and be shared.

Student Government SFC Project/Memorial

Give me sexy!


Tammie just kept shooting photos. I kept posing. That works.


Fellow senators getting started on the planting project.


Always room for more pictures.


It was really one hot sunny day. Tough labor but we did it anyway.


Phone tree. Atificially made by Tammie & my phone.


After all the hard work, we had dinner provided.


After the memorial service. With some senators, soldier's father and friends.

One of the Shooting Sessions

I like to keep myself busy behind the scene.


One of the models.

Shaden on my bike

Stunt Squirrel

Look what I found in school just chilling on the wall.

Statement of Intent

I'm finally sitting myself down to think about what I should include in my statement of intent. I'm already getting anxious to write. This is going to hurt to write about coming to the States from Singapore, the struggle I went through, and pull myself through to this point of life where I am finally going a step closer to success. I have to convince why I'll fit well in UF as a student. I'm going to get through this BS and be done with it. Toodles.

Victoria Beckham!!!!

I've been so crazy over this woman's confidence and style!! I love her!! I want to be a mom with 3-4 kids and be this beautiful!! I want to share my obsession over her with you!













If she was a doll, I'll put her in the middle of my own shrine of myself I have in my apartment. She's be on a throne or something and I'll feed her grapes and give her foot massage. LOL!

Liz's 80's Themed Party

1982

Hanging out with the bestie and she's going to be back today!! Hooray! Finally someone I can harass all day!


Good lord! Someone's giving a finger. And look who's looking retarded!


How ungraceful!

End of 2009

It's time that I graduate from Santa Fe College and find a new home in another institution to get my Bachelor's for Spring 2010 onwards. Changes in my life is way too rapid at the moment. I know I just found love, moved into my own apartment and went through a whole summer of school charades. Now this. I wish I could take a break but I took a 2-year break when I was in Japan. Annoyance.
But the good news is that I don't have to touch Math ever again. I've fulfilled the two math classes requirement. Next, it will be all my major classes. And the bad news is that I don't know which city I would end up in. I'm hoping Gainesville because I finally have a close network of friends here. I'm very afraid to venture on my own again in a whole new town. Ouh anxiety.
What I need is probably a chill pill and breathe. And watch more FRIENDS sitcom. :D

So, how is everyone?

We Heart our New Apartment

It's been 3 months since we moved into this apartment but we're still loving it. We chill 24/7 like this all day if I'm not studying or sleeping. LOL!

Nothing to be Afraid of

I'm back. :)

Tum tum tum

4 hours toward my Big Fat Biology exam... I hear Beethoven tune ringing in my ear. Ouh Avram!

Photos from Phone

Man down.


Man down Part 2.


Man sad when I go to school every morning or to see his step-dad.


Kids' poem wall pin up I made up within seconds.


My bike locked up in the thai restaurant because I was not sober the night before.


Mocha Martini? Unpleasant.


We peoples save baby squirrel.


Cheekbones protruding yet?


How about suck in my cheeks?

Model House

I like what I'm seeing. So law school is the way to go maybe?

Views on Prufrock: The Downside (Draft)

My men-bashing essay I wrote on Summer B 2009 for English literature class. Fun class indeed. Should be studying for my Biology exam but whatever.


I define “The Love of J. Alfred Prufrock” as a tribute to lonely virgin men; I see this poem as a representation of a flaw to Prufrock’s masculinity and confidence. Prufrock, who mirrors his author, is a man who has unaccomplished desires to be with a woman, any woman, to satisfy his sexual needs. Prufrock has all the essence to represent Elliot’s characters, as well as other men like himself, who has severe inferiority complexion issue. Being stuck in a period when women had already began to claim their superiority and control did not help him in his courtship pursuit. On top of that, he lived in England where he was put in an undesired limelight that gave him away as a young American who assimilated himself in the British lifestyle and who tried to fit in the classy “tea and toast” culture.
At 26, in a letter that he wrote to a friend, Aiken, he revealed the hardship of courting women and the shocking truth that he was still a virgin. Therefore, the sad fact that he is not experienced love-making with women would have influenced his way of viewing himself and how he felt exposed. The inspiration made the success of this poem he wrote to himself and people who are very similar to him. While some may find his poem comforting and helping them to feel less insecure about themselves and make them feel alone in this same courtship situation, I find this poem exploiting the unattractive attribute of men’s character and image. No self-respecting women would fall in love with men who are extremely insecure and have no confidence.
Prufrock’s low self-esteem lies behind the images that he uses to represent his weak character and personalities. The image of Polonius signifies the fool he is to allow others to be in control of him. In another words, he is co-dependent on other’s views on him, he is of no high authority and he does not mind being made use of evidently in this quote, “Advise the prince: withal. An easy tool. Deferential, glad to be of use”(114-115).
Even though he is not an authority figure, he feels pushed to the limelight because of his insecurity of his physical attributes, particularly his balding head. His communication skills probably put him in display as he describes, “Sprawling on a pin, when I am pinned and wriggling on the wall”(57-58). The image of an insect pinned to the wall roughly reveals that he is a target, and more than likely a black sheep whom everyone picks on because of his low self-esteem and overtly self-conscious behavior. Like Prufrock, Elliot is in the similar situation whereby being an American in the profound British society made him stand out from the rest.
Prufrock’s and Eliiot’s sense of self-valuing is not in compliment with the brilliant person he is intellectually. The people that Elliot is surrounded by do not fit well with the type of person he is. Somehow, having him as a black sheep in that society is a way of hinting to him that he is unwelcome. Also, it could be a way women do to tell him that he has no open opportunity to date them because they do not find him attractive. The rejection from the people around him influenced his way of behaving around them in probably the most awkward manner that he is being laughed at, and as the result, no one takes him seriously.
He sees himself as a loner and an independent cat, which wanders around and jumps from roof to roof and sleeps alone at the end of the night. He deliberately knows that he is consistently getting old. This misery he infests in himself and the vanishing hope he has for any women to be by his side pulled his confidence down to the bottom of the core of his heart. Ironic will be a word to describe this man who is great with words in his writings, and who should be able to sway and melt any women’s heart instantaneously with his wide vocabulary and charming words. Therefore Elliot and Prufrock are ridiculous to think so low of themselves.
Pruforck is a sad man who acts like a kid who likes a girl but does not tell her. Instead he teases her by pulling her pigtails and kicks her. Somehow he rubs her the wrong way and giving her the wrong signals. It does not work with grown women when he teases the women’s ways in mockery with the mentioning of their tea and toast lifestyle that includes pointless comments on artwork and being involved in countless tea parties. He mocks them of their imperfection: But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!(64). Besides that, he mocks them of their dress codes. Women in his world are like mermaids, the charmers of the sea, whom he is sure would not sing for a man like him.
If I were a mermaid, I would not sing to him either, His negative vibes would drown me, in spite of being a sea creature. His level of confidence is absurd. My life would be as miserable as the woman talked about in “Dover Beach” by Matthew Arnold because of the extensive negativity imparted in his conversations and character. One part of misery is in a ratio of three parts of happiness, therefore, for his thousands of misery would be a hell for me as it is for him.

Works Cited
Elliot, T. S., “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”. The Beford Introduction to Literature. Ed. Michael Meyer. 8th edition. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2008. 1222-1226

Arnold, Matthew, “Dover Beach”. The Beford Introduction to Literature. Ed. Michael Meyer. 8th edition. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2008. 878-879

Hi, Ms Etoria!

Hi Ms Etoria by ~sinnery on deviantART

The Obliviousness of a Modern Servant Representation

“Why Should I Be Nice To You Coffee Shops and the Politics of Good Services” by Emily Raine, published online on Bad Subjects website in the editorial page, gives a radical insight of the writer’s comparative experiences as a server. Being a barista has confirmed to be her most unpleasant experience in the service industries; in contrary to her other work experiences at fine dining, cocktail waitressing and hip euro-bistro counter work. In this article, she made astonishing insights of the so-called almost-luxurious branded corporation’s clever ways of concealed marketing strategies, and, exploiting their workers’ individual qualities by controlling and assimilating them into the image of perfection to represent the corporate overall image.

Emily enjoyed every aspect of serving because serving gives her the opportunity to interact with her customer, as it takes about half an hour of interaction each table, which was a pleasurable experience she got from serving. But her experience working at Starbucks as a Barista made a huge turn of an event in her life. As serious and painful of an experience as this could be for her, she made a good twist with sarcasm by using quotes in her article, for instance, quoting the word, nice, to imply how she
felt forced to be nice.

The use of humor through her metaphors, too, has been deliberately added in the article, which molded the uniqueness of her ideology of specialty cafés and fast food outlets. Metaphors like “I felt like an aproned Coke machine” and “The penguin-suited household servant staff” that Raine used in her context marked her style as somewhat serious but the clearly concise images she portrayed, which sparks the humor in a spin. Raine made an impression of her idea of working at the specialty café as an exploitation of worker’s rights. In turn, workers get back at the company by taking time off their paid working hours by having their unassigned personal breaks. As a worker herself, she felt devaluated as a worker when all she did was one task assigned that she repetitively did all throughout the day and interaction with her customer each time was too scarce, which last for about tem seconds. The genuinely casual opening dialogue like “How are you doing today?” may likely be a disapproved thing to do by the company, as that is not the main focus of the company’s purposeful policy. Indulging dialogues would eventually lead on to longer chat that would hold up the line.

Being unhappy about the work system and the lack of humanly interactions, Raine put it out in the open about how she felt like a robot doing everything the company demands of their worker under their supervision and control in terms of dress code, the scripted quotes pasted on the cashier machines to prompt customers, and the closing line with a customer.

To reward the Good Samaritan behaviors of workers, the company offered benefits that can hardly match the needs of any workers who wish to attain full-time schedule in order to receive the benefits. In doing so, the company market itself to a level that makes them look professional and upscale and creates an image that they are the company that cares and have a good bond with their workers. With the great benefits the company has to offer, worker put up with the strict work ethics required of them. In Raines’s opinion, there should be no putting up with the company. She blatantly suggested Baristas to be rude when there is a need to with either customers or the management. There should be tolerance towards the working hierarchy, which the company sets to devaluate its workers indirectly, in order to show a little humanity that a person behind the counter has.

Raine has made this article very useful and she cleverly made awareness about the corporate structure. She may even be able educate readers with the right approach to deal with the worst scenarios in a manner that no one as a human can deny. Faking smiles and gestures are just ways to show genuflect to the hierarchy and reflecting of the image of the past “penguin-suited household servant” that Raine mentioned in the article. She have extensively emphasized on being an individual, not in a rebellious way, but a mindful way whereby one maintains his image to be respected regardless of where he stands in the company. If one thinks that low of you, that is when you get stepped all over regardless of how brilliant of a college student you are wherever you may work at.

Reign, Emily. “Why Should I Be Nice To You? Coffee Shops and the Politics of Good Service” Issue #74 Bad Subjects. December 2005. Reprinted in Faigley, Lester. Writing: A Guide for College and Beyond. NY: Pearson, 2007: 327-334.

The Magician

He is above all. In spite of the fact that he is a "meany pants" magician, he led me back to the person I knew all along who is me, as a whole. He returned me back to me. That is why he is magic. I'm drinking him whole before he disappears.

Focal Issue: Dissatisfaction.

I've been residing in Gainesville for about eight months now. What appalled me the most is the very unstable social life I have. Socializing is easily done in clubs for me but it is by far the worst place to find friends(Arghh.. Yes Idiot. *Points self*) that you talk to and hang out with on day-to-day basis. I do try making friends in school but it has not been progressing. I attempted a few times to get involved with school clubs but the meetings are held on the afternoons when I become unavailable because of work commitment. Also, I tried organizing some groups studies with my classmates but having being hit on or annoying me with constant complain about everything didn't work well on me. I do have two good friends at work but they are not where I am mentally. They are there for advises and some fun after work.

The ideal will be some female friends who would be down for study groups during the weekdays, chilling out at the hookah cafe once in a while, hit the clubs and picnics or dinners on the weekends. I do have amazing friends now through Monsieur and himself, but the friendship foundation I have with our circle of friends is interlinked by our relationship. Naturally, relationship is emotional-based. At this point, my emotion is on the climax level where our bonding is in a rapid notion with the spurring physical exploitation in the absence of love. Just the raging infatuation we have for each other. Once this fire is put out, I can imagine how the friendship I have with the friends I made through Monsieur would soon dim its glow, unless I acculture myself to a more liberal way of thinking that would presumably make my life easier, more comfortable and less of a heartache.

So what I am willing to do now is to live on my own and stop looking for friends. I will eventually, I am guessing in some unconscious manner, make good friends out of some people I meet from time to time. Trust me. It gets freakishly lonely when you have no family or girl friends who hang out with you, have slumber party, have margarita and talk all night about the world, art, music, religion, culture and history. For now, it is me, monsieur and his two disciples! If that's not going to last, I hope it'll be around for some good amount of time though! :P

MIA

I just realized I've gone MIA for so long. I guess I'm back now. I've ended things with Josh very well. We're friends now. At this point, I'm in a transition to a way of life I quite knew but in a whole new way. I'm back to the religion I once loved. I'm back to the familiar idea of a relationship I'm most suited to. I had a great spring break with the significant other and his family at West Palm Beach, Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale and South Miami. I have been doing pretty well in school. I'm still working at Kindercare. Yey! Kudos to me! It's my seventh month working there. But now, I'm working with the one-year-olds and they are fabulous well-behaved toddlers. Once again, I'm a certified CPR and first aid provider for infants, children and adults. *giggles* I'm going to move into a one-bedroom apartment in May 2009. I'm so looking forward for that!

Well there you go. A whole lot of information for you. Good enough for now. :P

Say No to Negativity Cavity!

It's been long since I posted something fairly useful to VFS readers. I have a few things to voice out soon and it includes the college culture which I find very unusual, for instance, the shockingly expensive photocopying service and text book-lending among peers appears to be very threatening issue.

Anyway, I received positive responses from some of you and I'd like you to know that I have read them. I don't exactly know what to say. Maybe I'm so happy that I got some of you inspired and motivated. I suddenly became shy about responding to the messages. I guess there is indeed an objective why I'm here. Partly. I might subconsciously have a purpose in the beginning to make a difference to the world, or least, my readers. Soon enough, I hope to voice out to the world. This makes my major in Anthropology soulfully and exceptionally more important for me to complete and get the most out of what I'm learning in school. And, thank you all for the kind words that made me shun away. :P

I can't wait! This life IS a thrill!

I Love This Photo

Well say hello to Miss Vanity on Happy Pills. I like staring at this photo. Of myself. Haha. Bryan got cut out there. Yeah I like that brown eyes I got. It's edited. So really, my eyes are not that light of a color. I wondered how I'd look with light brown eyes and now I'm in love with myself. Haha!

I refuse to believe that no one stares at themselves in their best photos. :P

Fresh New Start for a Brand New Year

Hey guys,
I hope you had a blast on new year's eve. Well I did. So I have this new resolution: To curse less. :P My life has rapidly changed over the past few months. I met new people, realized a new meaning in life, discover new perspectives and paradigms of various people I've been hanging out with, attending college and am happy with the job I have now. Kudos to me for staying with the company for five months already. Shocking but good. That is an achievement for me. I'm finally settling in Gainesville nicely and I finally feel accommodated fairly well here.

The beginning of my '09 was a complete chaos but I am so relieved that everything is slowly falling into place. School was the major headache and the purchase of my new Buell Blast bike was a sacrificial financial pain. This is what you'd get too if you walk the talk. It's a great life investment. Life is a business. You invest, you lose something and you gain a lot more for sure for diving into opportunities and new revenues. Millions and millions of discouragement will be nothing but a challenge. So I got what I was persevere to get. But this is not the ending. This is no satisfaction. It's just the beginning now that I'm in school. As a transfer student, I get to graduate hopefully by the end of this year and I will be joining University of Florida next year. I'm so working on it now. This cycle is indeed never ending. This is so exciting!

So what is everyone up to?

:D Vic :P

My Gal Pal!

Hey world!! I'm happy that I have a gal pal now in Gainesville! :D:D:D:D



Dang am I just too excited over everything. :P